Glenn…Glenn! GLENN! Are you there? Can you hear me? I can see you watching me, but are you listening? Three feet of table is all that separates us… I can smell the hint of stale wintergreen gum on his breath, but his eyes just stare… wandering, unfocused, overwhelmed. Glenn! Things are different now… you must adapt, you must! Alas, Glenn fell behind, avoiding the obvious, holding on to the past. We had to move on. As we thrust forward and left the crowded convention center, I turned around one last time… one last time, but Glenn just stood motionless, expressionless, alone.
Nearly a year would pass before I would see Glenn again. As we descended back on Sin City, we found ourselves at that familiar convention center. I turned a corner, and to my surprise, there Glenn stood. Yet, his eyes had become glazed and non-responsive (much like his website) and as he shuffled past me it became clear; Glenn had become a zombie jeweler… things are different now.
Hello?…Hello?…Do they know we’re here?
Zombie jewelers are often easy to spot, but hard to find online. It’s likely they are unaware of people searching for them, trying to help. They live in disheveled websites that are hard to navigate and deploy poor digital marketing efforts to alert people of their presence. Others simply avoid such places as they tend to be the home of a zombie jeweler. How can you avoid or identify a zombie jeweler? Here are a few indicators:
1) Abandoned websites – Zombie jewelers tend to maintain websites that would otherwise seem abandoned. There are noticeable signs of dilapidation including lack of content, minimal or outdated products, dated technology and difficult navigation on mobile devices. However, consumers are becoming smarter and can identify these sites quickly. One quick peek and they will flee, so as to avoid a time trap or avoid them altogether. Who wants to shop at an abandoned outlet mall?
2) Weak Bones– Zombie jewelers’ websites typically lack structure and suffer from weak bones on the backend. These take the form of insufficient SEO requirements that provide website strength and ability to win the race for top placement in online search. If you notice such a zombie jeweler, tag them. ALT or H tags are helpful in reviving the zombie jeweler, but they must be rushed to the marketing department ASAP for longer-term SEO treatment…unless they are content intolerant.
3) Spotty Communications – Healthy jewelers are rapidly increasing digital communication to inform the public they are alive. Therefore, prime space is limited. Zombie jewelers tend to pick up the scraps left behind. Day-old donuts aren’t the same as fresh meat, but they taste good enough for zombie jeweler. They cost less and let the jeweler pretend they are in the game. Sadly, these efforts are spotty with no real plan of action and end up falling on deaf ears. Like shooting fish in an empty barrel.
4) Plan for survival – Zombie jewelers tend to survive day to day, without any plan for the future. They react to rather than anticipate marketing needs. This is the biggest contributing factor to the indicators mentioned above since they can’t see the bigger picture or read the roadmap on how to get there. Take a moment to plan your digital journey so you can see what’s in front of you. If you only look from behind you may fall off a cliff.
Catch me I’m falling.
Things are different now, but you can survive. The prognosis isn’t great for the zombie jeweler, but it’s still possible to come back to the living. They will fight it, doubt it and avoid it at all costs, but it’s possible. Be careful out there as the infection is slow moving. If you are experiencing one or two of the symptoms above, seek help immediately. Relief can be found at
The Center for Zombie Jewelers Reanimation.
The world is yours for the taking… seize it!
And if you see Glenn; tell him we’re waiting on him. Just follow the signs.
Click here to catch up with season 1
